Ever been through a bad break up? Ever stayed with a guy who was horribly inappropriate just because the sex was really good? Ever been a fuck buddy? A friend with benefits? Ever put out on the first date? Ever had a one night stand? Or two? Or twenty? Ever fucked a guy just to get back at someone else? Ever done it with a hot tourist who barely spoke English cause you knew they were leaving in the morning, forever? Ever do it again cause it was so much fun the first time?
Yeah. Me neither.
I am a good wholesome christian girl who would never have sex outside of the sanctity of marriage. Or for any other purpose than conceiving another one of God’s precious creatures. And I think anyone who does is a spawn of satan and going straight to hell.
Okay,but really, I would actually like to find a balance between these two extremes. Because neither one is very good for my spirit.
I dream of a day where I can enjoy sex with someone who loves me for who I am and truly cares about my well-being. And makes me coffee in the morning. And lets me leave my shoes in the living room. And tells me I’m pretty when we both know I look like shit. But finding that in this city is no easy task.
You gotta fuck a lot of frogs.
So, this New Year’s, almost as a joke, I said “No sex for 2010!” And I half meant it at the time. You know how most of us are with New Year’s Resolutions. I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t quit smoking. But strangely, this stuck. Well, so far. And ladies, lets be honest, you know how easy it is to have sex if that’s all you are really looking for. I think getting a cab to take you home might be harder. So there is proof that I’m committed. And committed to telling you all about it.
I’m reminded of some advise my father Flynt gave me when I was way too young to appreciate it.
“Now Dev, I don’t want ya to jist go sleepin with anyone too soon. Once a man’s had his dick up inside ya, its real hard to tell he’s no good.”
I was 11 or 12 at the time. And at this point didn’t know that is what actually happened. Tramatizing ? Maybe a little. But experience has taught me that my father could not have been more right.
So, I’m off of dick. At least until 2011. Maybe longer. I promise to be brutally honest about my adventures, past and current. My celibacy should at the very least be entertaining.
Categories: See Jane Give Up Dick