“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”
– Oscar Wilde
How does a reformed slut with intimacy issues find herself agreeing to be someone’s wife? If you manage to figure it out, can I be the first to know? Someone recently put an enormous sparkly rock on my finger, in hopes, I suppose, that I’d magically transform into a completely different person. Turns out I’m still me and becoming a Real Bride might be a lot more challenging than we’ve been led to believe.
Despite my many misgivings, the wedding industry is alive, well and willing to take all of our money. Almost in defiance of the economy, the divorce rate, and the growing cynicism of our times, people everywhere are still consenting to be together for “as long as we both shall live.” We live a really long time these days, people. Surely, we are all mad.
What follows is my attempt to understand why I even want to get married in the first place. See if I can commit, and avoid being committed. I’m prepared to admit to the world that I do actually care about the wedding and every single silly detail. Yes, even the cocktail napkins. However, I’m less prepared to dutifully resign myself to being some man’s wife. Surely, as a feminist, you would think I’d be putting up more of a fight. Full disclosure, this inner conflict gets ugly. But I’m not shying away from these less flatering truths as I confront my many qualities unbecoming a bride.
Read more about Unbecoming a Bride here.